Me and My Tattoos

Hi!

I thought I’d explain in this post all my tattoos and their meanings that they have to me. I love tattoos. My mother who i love with all my heart has lots and has tattoos that mean a lot to her and in the last four years i have tried to follow.  I have nine tattoos in total so far and have come to realise whenever i am over a hard patch with my mental health or am going through a change or a big life event after this I am more likely to get a tattoo after this event. I thought I’d show pictures and explain all of mine! I know in my first post i showed my most recent tattoo which received lovely comments which I appreciate and thank you so much!

I thought I’d just go in order of the tattoos i got…

Number One- Pingu

19190705_10213354028463561_150167494_n

Soo, Yeah! Pingu! I promise they get more serious than this haha,  Little pingu sits on my right foot. I went into the tattoo studio walked up to the desk and sat a picture of Pingu on their desk! Why pingu you may ask?  Well i got this on my 18th birthday and pingu was simply one of my favourite childhood memories. I remember I’d come home from school as a child and sit in front of the TV from about 3:30pm and watch the same episode of pingu day in and day out until it was literally bedtime! Childhood well spent if you ask me! Penguins are now my all time favourite animals and i could sit at the Zoo and watch them for hours on end and am lucky enough to actually have a penguin that my sister adopted for me!

Funny story actually about my first tattoo experience! Many people told me that it would hurt so much, i wouldn’t be able to handle it etc and i was so determined to prove them all wrong and do it without embarrassing myself! So the artist sat me down on the bench i got myself comfy and the artist sat the stencil of the penguin on my foot and asked me if it was okay. To this i responded ‘ Oh my god yes! I love it! All my friends said it would hurt me so much and it simply didn’t thank you so much!’ To this the artist quite embarrassingly responded with ‘ Sorry mate, I haven’t started yet’. So yeah if that explains me as the awkward person that i am, Brilliant!

Number Two- Drama Masks 

19206151_10213354028543563_450781493_n

I love the Theatre! My favourite musicals are Les Miserables, Lion King, and Phantom of the opera.  I always felt at home when i was performing and will definitely go more into performances i was involved in growing up! On my last A2 lesson at college i decided to get theatre masks on my left wrist. Theatre and music has helped me so much through the years and when i am going through a hard period or my mental health is suffering there is nothing like sticking on something like Lion King or beauty in the beast and sing along for hours long! Even though this is one of my first tattoos it still is up there with one of my favourites.

Number Three- A star   

star tattoo

This is a star that is right next to my left armpit, and i simply got this because i love looking at stars, it is so calming and so relaxing and i was in the tattooists with my mum getting hers one day and i simply couldn’t not.

Number four – Queen Lyrics 

19190821_10213354028383559_1352632189_n

My favourite song of all time is ‘ The Show must go on’ By one of the greatest bands of all time, Queen! Freddie Mercury, even though he passed before my time, is one of my biggest inspirations of all time, his confidence, his bravery, his talent and so much more makes him one of the greatest humans of all time. The song ‘The show must go on’ was recorded when Freddie was dying and not in a good way with his health at all, his manager said ‘ Look Freddie we don’t think you are well enough to record this song’ he said he was swung back a drink and completed the recording in one take! Remarkable!

I see ‘ The show must go on’ as a great metaphor for life for whatever happens to always carry on and keep going being who you are. Music is so important to me and a great resource when it comes to self care and i am still so pleased with this tattoo i have on my left shoulder and thank you Freddie for ever gracing this earth with your presence.

Number Five – Teacup 

19184078_10213354029503587_1167748346_n

My parents have been absolutely everything to me! They have helped me through every single issue i have ever had, childhood, friendships, sexuality, mental illness, finance, care and so much more. The next two tattoos are in love of them and i cannot thank them enough!

The Teacup?! For as long as i remember my father has made me a cup of tea whenever i am home at night from anywhere i have been. Work, school, college, university, friends, anywhere! I will be home and there will be a cup of tea ready for me thanks to my father! He’s had a lot of practice and he makes an absolutely mean cuppa! I got this tattoo when my mental health deteriorated first year of university when i was going through a manic depressive phrase for months on end and was missing home like nothing else, I decided to get this tattoo and phoned home that night and stayed on phone for hours while they helped me and my health once again! If you’re ever lucky enough to try My Dad’s cup of tea, you are very  lucky indeed.

Number Six- A ship 

ship tattoo

My Mother went through huge personal issues around Christmas of my second year of university. My Mother is the strongest person i have ever met, and i love her so much.  No one helps my mental health or understands me more than my mother. When she got through her struggle and i was up at University by myself i knew i had to do something, I decided to get a ship on my left arm just above the queen lyrics.  A ship symbolises strength, power and sailing through the high winds and waters, this is exactly my Mum and love my tattoos i have for my parents! If you love your parents and are reading this please, tell them, phone them, hug them, anything! It’s so important.

Number Seven- Lightning bolt 

lightning

Okay! I’ll Admit it! This one is based on One Direction lyrics haha, I love One Direction! I have seen them live five times now! In one of their songs ‘ Girl Almighty’ there is the lyric ‘ I hope we stay young, stay made of lightning’. I see this lyric as needing to stay bold, Stay confident even through the struggles you face! It is important to do something that helps your self care and i am obviously not telling anybody to go out and get Inked up haha but i am suggesting finding something that you love and has a meaning to and will help you and your health every time you see it! Stay made of lightning everyone!

Number Eight – Black Kitten 

scooby tattoo.jpg

I am going to more posts about how much pets can help your self care and your mental health because I truly believe pets can benefit your health in so many ways! Because i am rambling i am going to just explain that i have this tattoo because i have a tiny Kitten Named Scooby who loves cuddles and loves spending time with me, I love Scooby and got a black cat tattoo that looks exactly like Little Scooby.  Pets are seriously so important and loving and caring and can tell when you are just not right and i love this tattoo so much.

Number Nine- Serotonin chemical  

18869833_10213215570082188_798532901_o

I have already gone into this tattoo on my first blog and it is my most recent tattoo. In March i ended up in hospital up at university  after my mental health reached it’s lowest it had been in years. I was drinking, self harming, taking too much medicine, taking things out on friends who i have since lost. I went home to my parents who helped me and got me diagnosed and have got me on the path to recovery, It isn’t going to be easy and this blog is going to hopefully be helpful along the journey. This tattoo as i said before sits over some of my self harm scars on my wrist and i finally feel comfortable looking at my wrist without disgust at myself again, choosing recovery is so important and will benefit your friends your family but most importantly yourself! I look forward to sharing my recovery and Journey with you and hope to be as caring as i possibly can.

Congratulations if you have made it this far to the end of the blog, I could clearly write for hours! I would love to hear if you have any tattoos and what they mean to you! If you are  taking the time to read my posts i cannot thank you enough for doing so and it it means the world to me! I hope everyone has a great day and i look forward to sharing more with you very soon!

Much Love

L

x x

 

 

Advertisements

Fri-Ends

So…

Two weeks ago i began a blog in order to try and keep on top of my mental health and help others as well as myself along the way. Within that time i had some what of a relapse where i began to feel really down again and couldn’t stop thinking how mental illness has affected my friendships and relationships across the years.

That’s not to say at all that i haven’t got amazing understanding friends who have helped me for years and we have so much fun together, friends are the best! Even before we knew what mental illness was my friends have been there to help me. For so long i thought the more friends you have the better where as in fact it’s important to see having a handful of close friends who choose to stick by you, support you and love you through everything, it gives you purpose and makes you feel loved.

19182091_10213344317700798_278181931_o

As i said in the last few weeks i have really been questioning things which i know should not matter, however my best friend of nine years took me to a concert at the 02 arena and we had an amazing night as always.  Times with my friends and family and pets are so important to me and people like this in my life i appreciate so much.

If any of my friends are reading this please know i appreciate every single thing you have ever done to help me, you are special and i cannot thank you enough for keeping me here time and time again.  The memories i have made with friends makes me remember when it’s hard how lucky i am to have people to talk to and open up with when my mental illness is taking control.

19126302_10213344317660797_1433789276_o

This photo was taken today when i was with a friend who i have also known for years and years and this friend has also helped me through MSN days to still now today and i am truly so thankful for these friends.

However i would like to talk about why i have named this blog post fri-ends, I am sure every single person has had a friendship that has ended which has made you question what you could have done differently to change it or what you can do to help the situation possibly improve and sometimes that is is possible, however other times it is not.

Thinking back through the years when i have been going through a extremely depressive phrase i have ended up losing friends which i completely take full responsibility for.  When i am taking my moods out on those around me or myself it is nobodies responsibility to sort myself out but my own and when i am being a full on pain in the butt and in a very low place even if it sometimes beyond my control it is up to me sort myself out and no one else’s. I can be emotionally draining, Physically draining and an idiot sometimes when i am struggling with my mental illness and it is nobody’s responsibility to accept that behaviour. However i also believe i can be a very meaningful caring loving friend and loving family member.

The main issue i face when it comes to friendships and relationships with those around me is questioning myself and the people i love, let me explain! Say for example if i am with a friend, colleague, family member, or pretty much anybody for that matter i think to myself and tell myself over and over i am doing something wrong, or saying something wrong! This can be extremely frustrating to people when i ask over and over ‘Am i being annoying?’ or ‘Am i doing something wrong?’ ‘ Did i say something?’. I can truly see how annoying and frustrating asking these questions can become a drain on those around me but it is simply something i cannot control sometimes and just want to be a caring loving person and do not mean to double question myself! I would never blame anybody around me for what i am feeling and feel it is so important to surround yourself with those who care and will help you and your health. Over the years i have spent lots of time, effort and also a lot of money to try have as many friends as i possibly can to help my feelings of loneliness disappear however it is important to see even if you are not alone if you are surrounding yourself with people who do not understand you will still feel lonely

I know family and friends are very important and i am so thankful for those who have truly stuck by me for years and helped my mental health improve time and time again. I know this post will probably be full of ramble and mumbo jumbo, I am still new to this writing thing! I really will try to keep going with my recovery and hope i can keep helping others around me! If you have got to this point of the blog, thank you for reading and listening to me again! Remember especially in today’s world to tell those who you love that you love them every single day!

Talk soon! Thank you for listening!

Much Love

L

x

2 Months on…

 Hello!

This is my very first blog post ever! I literally knew i wanted to start a blog for so long now.  I am currently Studying Events Management at Manchester Metropolitan University.  I have met some truly Amazing people there and it is such a fantastic city to live in!

I want this blog to be a safe place for myself and others to visit, chat, express feelings, thoughts and emotions! I have never really been great at talking about myself but want to start now to hopefully help others!

What am i talking about already??! Ahah, well on the 27th March 2017 i was at the lowest i have ever felt in my life and for the third time in my 22 years didn’t want to be alive anymore! I ended up in Hospital and with the help of my friends and family got diagnosed with Type two Bipolar disorder! Two months later i have had such great support from my family and friends and doctors i know now that life can still be great and i can do all of the things that i want to do in my life, and so can anybody!

I feel ready to open up about my experience with mental health and how it’s affected myself, friendships, relationships, and life in general! I finally feel in a place where i honestly believe i can be okay and want to talk about different things i am doing now to help my Mental Health on this blog!

I have lots of ideas for this blog that i can’t wait to finally get started on! I always read so many other bloggers and have wanted to start one of my own, i believe after these last few months now is a great opportunity to do that!

For such a long time i wasn’t talking about how i was feeling,  I knew that for months i would try take on so much work and try to do so much in such a short space of time and honestly believed i could! Then for months found myself in such a deep deep depression with suicidal thoughts everyday! Writing this online is still so hard for me but i honestly do want to help others and hope that on this blog i can!

A massive Hobby of mine is watching youtubers talk about their experiences of Mental health as i honestly believe that is such a great help to me and probably so many others and i really want to open up about my experience on a platform which is comfortable! For the first time in years and years i feel at a balance where i know that i am loved and cannot thank those enough for all the support they have given me! I love tattoos and i choose a few weeks ago to get this tattoo over some of my healing self harm scars!

18869833_10213215570082188_798532901_o

This Tattoo is the chemical serotonin which controls happiness. Our brains are so complex and can provide such a challenge to us, looking forward is so important, one of my Favourite quotes is ‘ You can look back but don’t stare’ Which is what i want this blog and tattoo to represent,  life is an amazing precious thing and I’m so happy to be here today sharing it with those who have stayed with me through the hard times and i hope the future is bright and i hope this blog can be the start of that process and Journey.

Say Hi if you visit and thank you!

Much Love

L

xx